Let’s cut to the chase: your gay best friend doesn’t need another candle or skincare set for Christmas. What he does need is the kind of fitness gear that’ll not only make him look good in bed but also help him perform like an absolute rockstar once he’s there.
This year, ditch the boring gifts and give him something that’ll improve his stamina, strength, and flexibility—all while giving you the satisfaction of knowing you played a hand in his, um, success. Here are five exercise gifts to turbocharge his bedroom game, because Santa isn’t the only one delivering this year.
1. Resistance Bands: For Thrust Power
Resistance bands are the MVP of home workouts and the bedroom. They target the hips, thighs, and glutes—aka the key areas he’ll need for maximum motion.
Why It’s Bedroom Gold:
Stronger hips mean stronger thrusts, better rhythm, and the ability to maintain positions that would make Cirque du Soleil jealous. Plus, those glute gains will give him the confidence to strut naked like the star he is.
Bonus Idea: Add a custom workout plan from “OnlyGymFans.com.”
2. A Weighted Hip Thrust Pad: For That Pelvic Precision
If you’ve ever done hip thrusts at the gym, you know they’re not just for fitness—they’re for science. A weighted hip thrust pad makes this exercise easier to perform at home while delivering the kind of pelvic control that’ll have his partners calling him “Sir.”
Why It’s Bedroom Gold:
The stronger the glutes, the more power behind the moves. And if he’s the type who likes to drive the action, this will turn him into a high-performance machine.
Gift Note Idea: “For when you really need to, uh, push through.”
3. A Kettlebell: For Explosive Energy
Kettlebells aren’t just for building strength—they’re the ultimate tool for explosive power and endurance. Swinging a kettlebell strengthens the lower back, glutes, and thighs, which means he’ll have the energy to keep going until everyone’s satisfied.
Why It’s Bedroom Gold:
Explosive power = better thrusts, more control, and zero fatigue mid-session. Plus, it’ll make him look absolutely unfair in tight pants.
Gift Note Idea: “For swinging both in and out of the bedroom.”
4. A Flexibility Trainer: For Creative Positions
A flexibility trainer, like yoga straps or a stretching wheel, is the perfect gift for someone who wants to take things to the next level. Stretching regularly increases range of motion, making it easier to explore new and exciting positions.
Why It’s Bedroom Gold:
Whether it’s flexibility for a steamy overhead scenario or simply staying comfortable in adventurous poses, this gift ensures he can go the distance—literally.
Gift Note Idea: “For positions that require both creativity and commitment.”
5. A Pelvic Floor Trainer: The Secret Bedroom Ace
Pelvic floor exercises are the underrated champions of better performance. A pelvic floor trainer strengthens those deep muscles responsible for stamina, control, and… let’s just say the grand finale.
Why It’s Bedroom Gold:
A stronger pelvic floor means better endurance, more intense experiences, and the ability to hold back or let loose whenever he wants. If you’re looking to give him the ultimate edge, this is it.
Gift Note Idea: “Because every encore deserves a standing ovation.”
Final Thoughts: Unwrapping His Full Potential
This Christmas, don’t just gift your gay best friend something fun—give him the tools to slay in the most important room of the house. These exercise gifts aren’t just practical; they’re performance-enhancing, confidence-boosting, and hilariously suggestive.
Wrap them up with a wink and a dirty note, and watch him laugh, blush, and plan his first post-gift workout. After all, what are friends for if not to help each other crush it—both in life and in bed?
