Friendsgiving isn’t just about turkey and awkwardly explaining Grindr notifications to your straight friends. It’s about laughter, chosen family, and maybe—just maybe—making your crush from the gym wonder what’s for dessert (spoiler alert: it’s you). To help you spice up this year’s table, I’ve curated six Friendsgiving sides that not only scream "gourmet gay chef," but also give everyone's libido a cheeky little boost.
1. “Yam I Hot or What?” Sweet Potato Mash with Maple and Pecans
Sweet potatoes are the Friendsgiving staple, but let’s make them sexy. Loaded with potassium for blood flow and beta-carotene to keep your testosterone on fleek, they’re basically nature’s wingman. Top with a drizzle of maple syrup and a sprinkle of toasted pecans for a dish that says, “I’m sweet, nutty, and ready for seconds.”
Friendsgiving Flair: Serve this in a chic casserole dish with gold accents—because your side dishes deserve main-character energy too.
2. “Greens That’ll Make You Scream” Sautéed Garlic Spinach
Spinach is packed with magnesium, which keeps things flowing (yes, there too). Sauté it in olive oil with lots of garlic, and add a pinch of red pepper flakes for a subtle, spicy kick. This dish is all about strength and stamina—a nod to both your workouts and your extracurricular activities.
Pro Tip: If anyone complains about the garlic, remind them that vampires don’t deserve Friendsgiving anyway.
3. “Extra Bougie” Avocado and Pomegranate Salad
Let’s get real: what’s a gay Friendsgiving without avocado? Toss creamy avocado chunks with pomegranate seeds, a squeeze of lime, and a sprinkle of sea salt. Avocado’s healthy fats scream “hello, hormones,” while pomegranate seeds are full of antioxidants that boost testosterone. It’s bright, festive, and a guaranteed crowd-pleaser—just like you.
Serving Idea: Present this on a platter shaped like a leaf. If anyone rolls their eyes, revoke their cocktail privileges.
4. “I Like Big Sprouts” Roasted Brussels with Balsamic Drizzle
Brussels sprouts aren’t just good for you—they’re practically a declaration of your evolved taste. Roast them to crispy perfection, then drizzle with a balsamic reduction for that sweet-tart balance. These little green wonders are rich in folate, a nutrient that helps keep the mood just right.
Friendsgiving Hack: Roast these alongside some cranberries for a pop of holiday color. Plus, cranberries help with… urinary health. Enough said.
5. “Hot Stuff” Spicy Sweet Cornbread
Cornbread, but make it standout. Add a kick of jalapeño to your classic cornbread recipe, and drizzle the top with honey before serving. Corn’s B vitamins keep your energy high, and honey’s aphrodisiac powers? Well, let’s just say they’re better than a candlelit room with Donna Summer on repeat.
Serving Style: Use a cast-iron skillet for that rustic, “I woke up like this” vibe. Your guests will live.
6. “Cocoa Me Crazy” Dark Chocolate Cranberry Bark
Finish the night strong with a sexy little sweet treat. Melt some dark chocolate (rich in libido-boosting PEA) and swirl in dried cranberries and pistachios for crunch. Break it into shards and serve on a marble tray, because elegance is your middle name.
Pro Tip: Pack leftovers in cute tins so your guests leave with something to nibble later. Or don’t, and keep them for yourself. You deserve it.
Now go pour the wine, put on Cher’s Greatest Hits, and get that turkey on the table. And if someone brings boxed stuffing? Forgive them—it’s the season of love, after all.
Happy Friendsgiving, you beautiful people!
